Who am I? It’s a simple yet complex question at the same time. Who are we really? Who is this person that I am? How did we become who we are?
Why do I behave this way? Why do I believe in the things I believe in? More importantly, how did I arrive at believing such things? How did I learn such things?
We become who we are because of the people around us. We were born in this world not being able to choose what beliefs will surround us.
We found our understanding based on what was imparted by the people who raised us. We are a summary of the beliefs of our close family and friends.
From the beliefs we have formed, we have conceived an idea what perfection is. Human as we are, we do try to live to that image of perfection.
It’s hard and the bar was set too high, but we aim for it. We expect ourselves to be close to it but we are human – we have our shortcomings.
We think that our worth is based on who we become so we give out promises to people to show just that. However, let’s keep in mind that the most important pledge is the one we keep with ourselves.
We vow how to behave, act things out, think, and so on to be the person that we want to be. This sums up our personality.
Today, we highlight promises you should make with yourself. The vows you should make to feel better about yourself – to be able to fulfil who you want to be.
It can be quite scary how we throw around our word carelessly at times. “You have my word” – is a common statement but really, how important is it? Saying your word is a promise. It is a commitment. It is the truth. It should be sincere.
However, words can get lost along the way. Words can be harmful when not used with the purest intentions. We can use it against ourselves and against others. When we talk about other people and the talk leads to unproductive discussions such as gossip and falsehoods.
In works against us too. We can use our own words to put ourselves down as well. When we fail at something, we judge ourselves and use these words against us.
Our word is really mighty and it can undo goodwill any second, so be careful with it. Words are like thrusting swords, it can get the message across quite fast but it can cut as well. So, we first promise ourselves to use our words with no judgement and more integrity.
When we are more careful with our words, we become less harsh on ourselves and this will also reflect on how we deal with other people also.
When you hear things about yourself from others that you don’t like, what’s your knee-jerk reaction? Most likely you’d feel affronted, offended, and feel bad about it. Probably obsess about it too.
Let’s think about this in a different perspective. You are offended because you made it all about yourself. You made it a point that the situation has become all about you. It all boils down to selfish thoughts – you, you, and you.
When people make comments or do things, do accept that it’s not always about YOU. These people are most likely commenting or doing things because it is for them. People are more inclined to be within their own world so don’t assume that it’s also about your world.
When we elevate things in a personal way, we make a non-issue bigger and cause conflicts that shouldn’t even be there from the start. We harbor ill feelings and we might even cause ugly confrontations that should have been avoided.
When we are at peace with ourselves and do not take things personally a lot of conflicts will be avoided. Don’t let yourself hang on to the comments of other people. You are not responsible for what they say.
However, you are responsible for what goes on within you. You are responsible for your reaction. The more you don’t delve into negative comments, the more peaceful you will be.
Assumptions of the wrong kind can be a poison. This is when you build some situation or belief in your mind based on incomplete details. The poison in this is – when you come to believe that your assumption is the ultimate truth.
You build a story in your mind and convince yourself that it is what you should believe in. Wrong assumptions have a way of poisoning your mind and it can be quite infectious as well. You will make others believe based on the “facts” you have at hand.
You make those assumptions because you prevent yourself from knowing the truth. Either you’re afraid to ask, too confident with the slivers of details you have or you simply do not understand it at all.
We also assume that people think the same, that we are all in the same level of understanding and our thoughts on the matter are the same.
There’s one thing to prevent this though. ASK THOSE QUESTIONS. It’s the only way to get rid of those assumptions. And with the truth at your disposal, there’s no more option to make those assumptions.
It’s easier to get to the truth than to be poisoned with those assumptions. Cliché as it is, the truth will set you free.
We always hear this – do your best at all times. And we really agree. It can be a common advice but it has such immense wisdom and truth behind it.
Do your best in whatever you do. However, because we are only human it is understandable that we don’t usually have our “best” going on. There will be days that we will underperform because we are not in the best condition. Or we do our best, but our best isn’t good enough.
There will be times when we want to go beyond our best and end up being exhausted and unfulfilled. And contrary to that, there will be some situations that we will just give our minimum effort that will give us feelings of regret and second–guessing later on.
Also, some people may do their best because of incentives. They are just motivated for what they will get in return – the reward. People who are successful are driven to do their best whether there is a prize or not at the end. For them, incentives are just bonuses they get when they succeed.
In reality, some people are driven to action because of the presence of a reward. They are doing it for the prize even though the action needed to achieve it is something they really are not into. However, when you just want to succeed regardless of an incentive, you enjoy the whole process.
There are no feelings of resentment, you enjoy getting into it. From the start of the effort to the ending, you have enjoyed yourself.
That’s what doing best is all about. When you enjoy doing it from the start, you are driven to give your best. And we can only do our best if we put those thoughts into action.
The first three pledges mentioned in this article – is also about doing your best in them. With our imperfections – we can’t always be true to our word, we can’t always be immune to opinions and not take things personally, we can’t always avoid jumping into conclusions.
However, despite everything – we can promise to do our best. We can certainly do our best to fulfill these vows to ourselves.
If we know within ourselves that we are putting our best out there, we will feel good about us even though we fail sometimes. The fact that we have in mind that we do our best – it gives us this sense of pride that we are striving.
Breaking the Old Cycle
It is understandable that prior to these promises, you’ve been caught up with previous beliefs and habits. It can intimidate you that it will be hard to break away from them because it has been your beliefs for the longest time!
However, nothing’s ever too late. Accept that you have been bounded by previous beliefs –and that’s okay. If you know there’ a problem to be solved, your one step ahead already. That’s progress!
What’s preventing you further is fear. The more you face and understand your fears the better you manage yourself – your emotions. And when you become self-aware – the more you want to have change. It’s process and it not might not be easy but at the end you will see real, good and lasting changes.