Something weird happened last night.
For some reason I wasn't able to sleep properly, and I don't know why.
It is as if I had this surge of energy that was stopping me from sleeping.
To not I went to bed at 10 pm last night, but I was only able to snooze around 3am or later. It was that bad that I had to meditate for a while before I was able to fall asleep.
And to make matters worse, I am on IF so my last meal was supposed to be at 10pm and my next meal was supposed to be at 4pm today!
I am both hungry and lacking sleep!
So you know what happens when I don't have enough sleep?
I don't practice Yoga!
Why? Because training in any form of physical activity lacking sleep can only mean two things:
- There is a high probability that you'll get injured.
2. You can still do the exercise, but you will feel bad afterwards by your body's lack of rest.
So that brings it to 4 days of no Yoga!
Also to make matters worse, I had a meeting at exactly 4pm! And I was too busy today that I wasn't able to prepare beforehand any food for me to eat at the time my fasting ended.
So I was forced to eat a few sticks of stick-o (a chocolate based wafer stick) and a full pack of cheese wafers which means I was not following my Keto way of eating!
Anyway, I decided to just eat it instead of collapsing out of sheer hunger. And I think that the Keto Gods will understand my predicament.
So that brings me to my next point.
Just what is it that I can write today being that I wasn't able to achieve anything aside from IF?
I think I want to write about gratitude.
I want to tell myself and yes, give myself a pat on the back by being able to hold out this long and for being able to come this far.
It is not an easy task believe me.
There were times when I felt that I was depriving myself.
That whenever I step on the scales and see that my weight remained the same or that I increased my weight after binge eating on a cheat day.
Yes, it wasn't that easy, but it doesn't mean that wasn't doable.
Again, it takes a certain form of discipline and an internal rewards system that made me who I am today.
And yes, I want to congratulate myself as I continue to conquer each day with the promise that I will be able to complete my goals.
So with this I end my journal with the quote from the featured image of this post.
“First, you're naive and you trust everyone and then someone cuts you off at the knees or multiple people do.
Or maybe you cut yourself off at the knees because you trusted yourself too much and you didn't take into account the malevolence that lurks in your heart and the hearts of others, and so that you get traumatized by betrayal and then you become cynical and you think, Jesus, I'm a lot smarter now that I'm cynical and you are because cynical is actually a move up on naive, but it's not the last move.
The last move is to transcend cynicism and to say that even though I know that there are just as many snakes in your heart as there are in my heart, I'm going to hold out my hand in trust because that's the best way to elevate both of us and that is the prerequisite for a sensible discussion.” – Jordan Peterson